036: Hosting a Dinner Party with Sam Low

Plus tips for being the perfect guest

Everyone has a niche, and this week, Sam Low’s here to share his.

Sam is a hospitality professional, cookbook author, podcaster, content creator, brand ambassador, MasterChef New Zealand 2022 winner, and all-round food and flavour expert.

Sam’s ‘How to shop at your local Asian grocer’ has become my gospel. Exploring the nuances of soy sauce, vinegar (cut me open, and I’d bleed black vinegar) and the “unimpressed godmother” of chilli oil, it’s an essential pre-shop watch.

From prebatched cocktails to lunch-based convo starters, here’s Sam’s take on That’s Niche.

That’s Niche: Hosting the perfect dinner party (+ being a good friend)

Sam’s Expertise:

Prior to winning the reality cooking competition show ‘MasterChef’ in New Zealand, my passion began in my rental apartments in Auckland, Melbourne and Vancouver.

Being single for most of my twenties and often living alone, I spent years inviting friends (and some now foes) for glorious meals and banquets at home.

I've hosted many feasts, so you can trust I know how to throw a decent dinner party and, in turn, teach you how to be a good guest if hosting isn't your thing.

Friends often look forward to my dinners, and I’ve made or removed friends from my life because of how they behave, participate, and, most importantly, respect the silent rules of dinner parties.

But don’t worry— whether you’re a host or a guest, I’m here to help.

DRINKS

Always have a drink on hand when people arrive, you need to let people relax into your space (especially if it’s their first time in it).

Have the drink already prepared, don't make it a special thing of cracking the champagne open when someone arrives, they will now feel like it's a uber special occasion and they need to perform.

Here are some handy tips:

1. Pre batch cocktails/mocktails way in advance

2. Pre-cut your garnishes

3. Have your freezer filled with ice

4. Set up a dedicated drinks area/station. This is the best advice especially for bigger groups, and the guests won’t feel obligated to ask you for help every time!

How does this keep/make friends?

You're letting them be themselves, make drinks for themselves and they can drink at their own pace. For introverts this is amazing, and for extroverts they will tend to nominate themselves as the bartender for others.

The best part is guests will all think you're a chill person (when in fact you might not be…)

FOOD

This part can be stressful… actually it probably is the most stressful. But it doesn’t need to be, the goal here is to make something either good enough that people won't recall the food memory or it needs to be the highlight dish of the evening… the worst thing that could happen is be the dish that's so bad people talk about it, even years after that event.

Some handy tips!

1. Have one thing that's the focus. Maybe it's the roast lamb or the beans stew, but make your focus a dish that you know you nail, everytime.

2. Make sides to accompany your main, or outsource! If you feel overwhelmed, ask your guests to bring something. It's not rude, in fact most people love feeling like they are all a part of this meal equally. Just tell them what you’re making so you’re not suddenly pairing rice pilaf with quinoa salad…

How does this keep/make friends?

It's as simple as wanting someone to have positive or neutral vibrations at your event, but having a whole uncooked lamb (happened to me at an event) will never let me look at lamb the same way again, and you don't want that… lets call it food trauma.

Asking people to bring a dish will give guests the room to express themselves or attach a story to something, thus breaking the ice.

GIFTS

Don’t be rude, bring a gift…

Something small or something big, but not too big because that's weird and not too small (I was literally brought a packet of crackers once… no cheese, nothing to go with it… it was offensive at that point).

If it’s a gift for the host, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT bring something that's to be shared for the event. At that point it's no longer for the hosts, it's for everyone including yourself… greedy.

An example of this is wine (one bottle). Instead, bring two, one for the host and one for the evening.

If you're hosting and want to gift your guests something, homemade condiments are the best! Little jars of chilli oil, jams, seasoning mixes are a very memorable way to send them off.

How does this keep/make friends?

Pretty self explanatory, give a gift for the host to feel like they have been solely considered and says alot about your generosity.

And if you're a host giving a homemade gift, the guests will take that home and live that (hopefully) positive experience with you even longer…

PREPARATION

Start now! It's never too early to start your party preparations.

We tend to forget we have technology that can store food for a long time… your fridge and freezer are your friends. Make the most of them.

Some handy tips!

1. make your sauces, marinades, dressings days if not weeks prior to your event.

2. Pre batched cocktails/mocktails should be all prepped way beforehand.

3. Setup the drinks area/station the night before, have ice ready or buy some (ask a guest to bring a bag if you can, I do… )

4. For the helpful/handy guests that love helping, assign them tasks on the evening eg. cut the salad ingredients, garnish the desserts… these people will LOVE doing this.

How does this keep/make friends?

When you’re prepared you minimise the chance of being stressed when guests arrive and I dont think stressed people make friends easily…

Giving people who want tasks something to do will make them feel useful and involved and often they will spark the best conversations because their mind’s elsewhere.

THE CHATS

You want people to start having real/specific conversations as quickly as possible, the small talk and pleasantries can be tiring (for me anyways). By doing the above 4 things you’ll achieve this freedom/relaxed state of mind quicker with everyone.

Some handy tips!

1. Ask specific questions! Make them small and personal like… if you knew Jeff works at a law firm, ask them what their lunch routine is at work or who eats the most interesting foods at the office.

2. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT make a huge announcement at the table especially as a guest. I'm sorry Sarah but now's not the time to announce you're engaged, especially at a seated table, you should not take the attention from everyone and them perhaps feeling forced to react a certain why. If you have to do it in private with small groups or in the kitchen when preparing something with the host before or after the dinner.

How does this keep/make friends?

Again it's making everyone feel equal, and not giving power to a ‘main character at the event’ unless the dinner is in celebration of them… then go hard!

A banging, well-thought-out dinner party can make or break friendships, and I truly believe it is a great way to filter out the different qualities of people you want in your life.

In summary:

1. Always have a drink on hand when people arrive! Pre-batch cocktails/mocktails and assemble them when guests come in.

2. Give simple tasks for guests when they offer to help such as chopping the salad, garnishing desserts or dishing out portions of soup. This will make them feel like they are contributing to the meal.

3. Prepare way in advance. Cold dishes or dressings/sauces can often be made 2-3 days ahead, giving you less to prep on the day.

4. It's not rude to ask people to bring a small side to go with the main dishes. This will free you up to focus on the main part of the dinner and allow guests to feel creative and useful. Often, people will bring a story with the dish.

5. Bring a gift and don’t make uncalled-for announcements. You’re not the main character… everyone is.

Misc Recs

Unrelated things Sam likes that you might, too

💭 All These Thoughts by Maya Jane Coles, Kid Enigma

The vibes! This tune! Groovy town… Add this to your dinner party playlist.

🤿 Nose Dive: A Field Guide To The World's Smells by Harold McGee

Learn literally about how the world works through one of our main and the most intimate human sense… the sense of smell!

🌳 The Taste of Things directed by Anh Hung Tran

A romantic historical french drama focussed on the relationship between a gastronome and his cook. The food in the film is perhaps the most incredible and accurate of any food film I've seen.

🚮 Boy Room

Boy room is a very very entertaining IG account where a comedian investigates boys rooms in NYC… it's great.

You can get more of Sam on Instagram, TikTok, Spotify, and in print. See you next week for more nicheness. Bye!